Beneath His Mask

liquor party

2011-10-20T18:25:00.001+08:00

Alrite, liquor party after work at office.

Is this heaven or what?

fts

2011-10-19T13:21:00.001+08:00

fuck this shit. i'm back. did i missed anything?

apparently not mudabitches.

STOP!

2010-07-22T09:48:00.000+08:00

this hurts so damn much,

come on stop destroying yourself!

tombadam

2010-07-09T21:00:00.000+08:00

christ,

moodswings.

Adam must had a hard time back then

hadads baetesbtewvtrd

2010-07-06T18:01:00.002+08:00

piece of shit, why the fuck i'm feeling like this again.

fuck this world, fuck the feeling i'm having now.

i don't fucking like it this way.

come on, fucking cure me. i know you can.

setback, or back on track?

2010-06-17T21:54:00.001+08:00

i was so happy yesterday that i almost forget that i'm still lonely

foreign language

2010-06-14T12:02:00.001+08:00

she has got to have it all,

totally sure and i'm not gonna let her go now.

you are so beautiful to me

2010-06-13T00:31:00.000+08:00

Trông cô rất xinh đẹp

this is just so wrong

2010-04-21T15:30:00.001+08:00

missing for almost one month,

should i say i moved on, and somehow there are just an explosion of choices?

damn no!

lo behold!

2010-03-22T18:38:00.001+08:00

and lo! behold!

the most inconsistent being of all!

if God is love, then God must be really inconsistent in person.

what the fuck went wrong?

2010-02-18T08:05:00.005+08:00

we deserve much more shit after all this

am i not worth it all after all that i'd done?

you call it karma, i say you're self centered.

i only exist when you need me, and when you don't, i'm just a myth.

why?

if you believe n God, you're not.

quit giving me excuses that wont't stick,

quit giving me reasons that i won't buy.

i'm sick of it all,

all your broken promises,

all your lies,

karma will get you,

it will hit you hard,

you'll know who is the one,

you'll know who gave you breath,

so stop fooling with death!

it fucking hurts, to see others who does not deserve a single shit,

gets everything,

i can just let go, but i demand an answer,

there's just too much that i gave to you,

too fucking much,

more than what i would give myself,

all that i'd given you,

and you pull me down,

just like that.

i was there when you needed my shoulder,

but day by day,

you're treating me colder,

in the name of love,

i stayed,

but not anymore,

3 years going on 4,

tell me what do you want from me?

what the fuck went wrong?

how inhuman can we, the humans be?

i'm sick of my own species,

sick of humanity and their fucked up thoughts.

no yes no and yes

2010-02-09T01:18:00.001+08:00

it doesn't make any differences anymore

but i still feel the pain.

fucking hurts

2010-01-17T00:07:00.001+08:00

The fucking wound hurts.

Ouch!

Get the fuck out of my life would you?
I love you, still.

enemies!

2010-01-08T02:14:00.000+08:00

know your enemies,

before they know you.

peek-a-boo or ka-boom!

changes

2010-01-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

no, no more changes.

the new old year

2009-12-31T14:44:00.002+08:00

There's a new year every fucking year.

It's all the fucking same,

So why celebrate?

i am

2009-12-26T14:17:00.001+08:00

i am the original,

haters

fuck off

i can't

2009-12-26T03:08:00.001+08:00

it's just so hard to do it, but somehow i know i have to.

it's never easy saying goodbye,

but after all the shits i took,

good bye.

facebook

2009-12-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

Facebook,

Make you or Break you?

dogsinatas

2009-12-16T16:17:00.001+08:00

I don't care if you're fucking God.

This world has seen enough of injustice.

The rules of thumb applies.

gtfo, love

2009-12-15T12:23:00.003+08:00

Seriously, somebody fuckin' save me.

Fallen to far down,

Into the abyss,

I'm falling deeper underground,

For someone I should not love and miss.

Love, get the fuck out

why?

2009-12-12T11:50:00.001+08:00

What did I do to deserve...

All this?

before i forget

2009-10-31T19:59:00.001+08:00

Could you remind me of something that I thought I will not forget.

How beautiful, thou art my love.

Love Hate Lust

2009-10-19T19:39:00.001+08:00

I'm falling in love with hate.

Or is it purely...

Lust?

ymscb

2009-09-28T21:13:00.002+08:00

you motherfucking self centered bitch.

you are the pathetic one.

not me.

injustice is justice

2009-09-24T03:14:00.001+08:00

If being a motherfucker who cares about justice is so fucking wrong,

Someone tell me,

What can I fucking be?

no words

2009-09-21T18:58:00.001+08:00

one way down

2009-09-15T16:07:00.001+08:00

If it's there, then it's there.

What can I do?

God, help me.

poser

2009-09-05T21:27:00.001+08:00

pathethically insane poser.

fuck you too.

love me more

2009-08-31T23:24:00.002+08:00

When you find yourself thinking that you're the only guy who can give her the love that no other human being can give her, you're in love.

Love can't be seen, but we can feel it.

Love can't be measured, so don't say you love me more.

wicked sick

2009-08-21T21:33:00.001+08:00

you're one sick sad little bitch

you're a guy.

like shit

2009-08-20T15:06:00.001+08:00

the way you love,

or at least the way you fucking tried to express your shits,

are purely,

a waste of time and space,

it alls get flushed down,

maybe you are one.

injustice

2009-08-06T00:34:00.001+08:00

it happens everywhere.

whether you like it or not.

whether you notice or not.

whether you give a fuck bout it or not.

to me,

well,

fuck it.

is the ******* dead?

2009-07-26T17:30:00.001+08:00

** *** author ****?

J-apanese Names

2009-07-11T16:38:00.001+08:00

why are there people so obsessed with Japanese names?

dude, japanese wannabe?

i thought they sounded bad on you people.

no disrespect, but Japanese are meant to be for Japanese.

yea, people from the land of the rising sun.

not you, nor me.

love thy name.

and fuck you're lame.

big fat ugly liar

2009-07-05T17:05:00.000+08:00

if you're not the fattest,

then you must be the biggest liar.

blue apple

2009-07-01T22:01:00.001+08:00

Do you have to contradict yourself every single time?

You told me that the apple was red, and now you're telling me it's blue.

It's just an example, so fuck it.

Blue apple does not exist, so are your statements.

Blue apple?

What the fuck?

F-Change

2009-06-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

Why don't you fucking change?

quoting myself

2009-06-04T03:09:00.000+08:00

"The good wasn't made perfect,
The pure wasn't made clean,
Every cause does have an effect,
Just like tracks of where you'd been."

of blogs and messengers and idiots

2009-06-02T12:41:00.001+08:00

Not a place to do your countdowns.

Not a place to display your school schedule.

What the hell now?

Where?

Blogs and messengers.

L for Hate

2009-06-01T21:29:00.002+08:00

Why should I even care when you say it's all over?

You know something,

I gotta be the unusual me,

Just because if I'm being myself,

You'll give yourself more excuses to put the blame on me.

Why do I still need to care bout all this shits?

The only reason I'm not myself because you never trusted me.

Even till now,

Sometimes,

Don't let your ego swallow you whole.

Reach out your hand,

I can only see you drowning.

dream

2009-05-28T18:44:00.002+08:00

We were both happy together in this old cafeteria.

I asked what you wanna eat, and you told me we'll check it out together.

We talked, laughed and ate together.

Everything was just so so so so perfect.

I never wanted this to end, it was too good to be true.

It was as if we're lovers.

My phone rang, and I'm all alone.

It was just a dream.

It was a too good to be true kinda dream.

I miss you, I think I do.

paranoid

2009-05-27T00:36:00.000+08:00

I'll be sleeping in fear,

What a paranoid!

one last time

2009-05-26T17:24:00.002+08:00

Maybe you assumed to much.

I might not be acting, if that's what you've been thinking all the while.

I just want you to know the truth.

I did not lie, nor did I act to get any of your sympathy.

I don't wanna live with this regret, I want you to know the truth.

I'm disappointed, how can I not be?

I've been true all the while, you say you know, but do you believe me?

How close were we in being one?

It hurts to know the truth, but I hope you know.

What I've been doing all the while, is sincere.

And I truly do love you, and loved you.

I'm letting go, at least that's the best solution.

Help me would you?

I need your hands.

One last time, baby.

ps

2009-05-25T20:38:00.001+08:00

p/s: please don't let me sleep in fear, anymore. can we just make it right?

maybe?

2009-05-25T03:52:00.002+08:00

I told you I love you,

And I said it's true.

I told you I miss you,

And I said it's true.

That was then.

You can choose to doubt or you might have doubted my words.

But after all, all I ask of now is pretty much simple.

Trust each and every words that I say.

I've been doing what you want, and not doing what you don't want me too.

I'll keep doing it your way.

All I ask of now is just a little time, so I can have my final say.

I'm sincere, and let's not ruin it.

I wonder if, can this page be automatically displayed at your browser?

I want you to read all that I wrote so much, but I know you'll never do.

Keeping this rant to myself, maybe.

God bless, Amen.

pain, dying, trying

2009-05-24T00:53:00.003+08:00

When you feel the pain,

It is not that you're dying.

It is that because you're trying.

human nature

2009-05-22T00:58:00.002+08:00

Where else can I rant on, but here?

When it all started, you said it was too early and you were not ready.

Getting it right, on the perfect time is how it should be.

In the midst of everything, when we wished we could have more time, I thought the time was all wrong.

And now, I wonder if I'm a little too late?

Or very late?

I'm pretty much annoyed with how we humans behave, myself and everyone around me.

Why God?

love

2009-05-15T15:08:00.002+08:00

You asked me am I not feeling well or am I sleepy?

I said no, I'm not in the mood. I didn't even eat.

You asked me why didn't you eat?

I said I don't know.

If only you remember what you told me last night, do you?

If I'm honest, I could have answered "I'm disappointed" to both of the questions.

But I guess I love you too much.

note to self

2009-05-13T12:04:00.002+08:00

Note to self:

So be yourself, its all that you can do.

could you do the same?

2009-05-12T00:15:00.001+08:00

three words wrap around the fingers, in the future.

two person sharing the same vow.

one word, love.

When failure is a part of your life

2009-05-10T02:36:00.002+08:00

Experience had taught me not to put high hopes on you,

You showed me the art of being inconsistent, consistently.

When failure is a part of your life, a routine,

You no longer feel the pain of being rejected anymore.

But somehow,

I have a strong feeling.

If I happen to be triumphant in such a losing war,

Expect a big celebration,

Where patience and loyalty is the VIP.

hell

2009-05-10T02:25:00.000+08:00

I need more words.

What the hell am I talking about?

when can i hold your hand?

2009-05-07T23:29:00.001+08:00

when can i hold your hand?

and call you baby.

count to six and die

2009-05-03T22:40:00.001+08:00

and I quote

"Some do it fast,
Some do it better in smaller amounts."

Marilyn Manson in Count to Six and Die

I will

2009-05-02T03:20:00.001+08:00

I'll hold on when I want to,

I'll let go when I need to.

signals

2009-04-29T12:01:00.002+08:00

Do you give signals when you're about to make a turn while driving?

What's the purpose of doing so?

I think the reasonings is the same in life.

Give me signals for I need to know where we're heading to.

snuff

2009-04-28T18:37:00.000+08:00

If you love me, let me know

do you?

2009-04-25T01:38:00.002+08:00

are you cold blooded?

I'm not, I don't think you are too.

do you read what I write and wrote here?

I thought I told you so, did I?

did you forget that I told you I love you?

I remember, do you still ...

Do you?

He's a paranoid baby.

the tinker

2009-04-23T23:06:00.001+08:00

tinkering left,

tinkering right.

sound of the deaf,

fallen deep into the night.

How long more will the tinkering go on?

time machine for sale

2009-04-14T21:14:00.001+08:00

now that everything's good again,

I believe time machine do exist!

Ka-Boom!

2009-04-13T04:34:00.000+08:00

Wrong move, landmine triggered.

Check mate?

Not yet.

landmines all over the place

2009-04-12T04:03:00.002+08:00

I never thought that it wasn't right to do what I did.

I'll be careful with each and every step.

I'm surrounded by landmines.

Landmines all over the place.

in the name of love

2009-04-11T20:40:00.001+08:00

Time is running out, at least for me.

Let's hope and pray for the best, shall we?

In the name of love.

lost

2009-04-09T22:02:00.002+08:00

I wonder if you read this blog.

You know that this is the place I express myself.

Now I'm lost, and what should be my next move?

I need you to read this, cause I'm really lost.

Where should I go from here?

I think it's all going alright, but still.

I dare not make any moves for now.

make your choice

2009-04-06T03:38:00.001+08:00

i'm just too tired after all this

or

i'm very disappointed after all that

Which one?

loving you

2009-04-04T23:11:00.001+08:00

Loving you is like...

what do you see?

2009-03-30T20:14:00.002+08:00

I climbed a thousand steps just to see what you see,

I dropped from hundreds of feet just to see what you see,

I done things I never thought I could do just to see what you see,

Everyone around us saw me doing what I done just to see what you see,

But still,

You still couldn't see it yourself.

All I'd done is for you.

I could risk anything, just to share your sight.

do you know?

2009-03-27T04:44:00.003+08:00

Do you know how curious I am?

Do you know what's running through my mind?

Do you know what I am supposed to do now?

Do you know where should we be headed to?

Do you know who is the one I really love?

You have no idea how much I miss you.

I'm pretty sure it's you.

It's either heaven or hell,

Heaven was 4 days ago,

Hell is a big question mark.

one and two

2009-03-22T03:48:00.000+08:00

You know nothing about blogging.

Fuck you, sick creation of God.

life and love

2009-03-21T22:45:00.003+08:00

One step forward, two steps back.

Two steps forward, one step back.

The best one to describe love?
You tell me.

loved before

2009-03-20T00:54:00.002+08:00

Tell me,

How do you feel if you found out your ex has been cheating on you all the while?

Do you feel sick, or will you still feel the pain?

It's there a need to give a fuck about what had happened?

Well, I loved you before.

Now, fuck you.

closer

2009-03-18T03:25:00.001+08:00

I'm amazed how we both can have such relationship.

Never ever have I thought of being so close to her.

Yet so far.

virtual insanity

2009-03-16T03:23:00.002+08:00

It feels good to know that she's finally giving me something in return.

I'm just an ordinary guy, with an extraordinary love for her.

I don't ask for anything extraordinary, I seriously don't.

A simple text from her, simply lightens up my day.

I guess my decision was a right one, and I'm glad.

Remember, take things easy.

No point forcing yourself into a relationship if either one are not ready, just yet.

Chill, and be the best of friends.

You'll never know, but soon you'll understand.

Now tell me, am I losing my sanity?

smiley

2009-03-14T12:12:00.002+08:00

You never know what a simple smiley can do.

In this case, it made me smile.

to all the haters

2009-03-11T00:16:00.002+08:00

I wonder,

How can there be so many haters out there?

I wonder,

If they preach what they learn in their churches?

I wonder,

How people judged others and yet says that they're the one judged?

I wonder,

Am I kind or am I dumb to have responded in a polite manner?

Well, fuck it.
Haters played no part in my life,
As I'm in love,
So in love.

heart and hearts

2009-03-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

Let the torment begin.

There's only two things in this world that I won't be breaking.

Heart and hearts.

deeper underground

2009-02-28T22:54:00.000+08:00

I can't hear, a single sound.

This is going, deeper underground.

original

2009-02-27T14:22:00.001+08:00

By far,

She's the most original being I'd ever seen in my 21 years of life.

Too good to be, well, herself.

The same time is needed to love someone, and also to hate someone.

I choose love over hate.

nervously calm, confusingly clear

2009-02-27T02:53:00.002+08:00

Nervously calm,
that's how you can describe my feelings hours ago.

Right now, its,

Confusingly clear,
that's how you can describe my feelings now,

And for a very long time to come.

blame it on my curiosity

2009-02-25T23:46:00.003+08:00

Sources said she's ready.

I say, I'm ready for something steady too.

Sources said she's ambiguous.

I say, I'm really curious.

Curiosity is some kind of a newly discovered disease with many sinners infected, badly.

The only way to cure this, is to be brave and ask for the answer.
Brave, in a smart way.
Be wise, in all that you say,
Or else,
It will be a heavy price to pay.

it's not the same

2009-02-25T02:08:00.003+08:00

Just when you think that things couldn't get any better, oh wait a minute, it actually did got better.

But how long will it last?

The air we breathe today, is not the same air we'll be breathing tomorrow.

God is a number you cannot count to

2009-02-24T00:17:00.004+08:00

What happens when your heart says 'do it', and your head says 'don't'?

What happens when you have no idea what you think is right, is actually wrong? and vice versa.

Do you know that a guy takes only 3 minutes to fall in love?

Do you know that a girl takes 3 months to fall in love?

Now someone prove to me, that's a hoax.

God is just a statistic.

Now pick a number, from 1 - 9.

Got it?

Whatever number you picked, that represents God.

Why?

God is a number you cannot count to.

If you know what I mean.

waiting to give in

2009-02-23T14:57:00.002+08:00

Tired of waiting for something, that you feel like giving up at any point during the wait?

I need advice, how to I get through this?

idle love

2009-02-22T22:23:00.002+08:00

The worst thing that could happen to a relationship is, well, I think this is pretty subjective. What is bad for me, might be good for you.

Somehow, I think you will agree with me on this.

The worst thing that could happen to a relationship is nothing will ever happen, or has yet to spark an event.

In other words, love's on idle.

Stuck. How pain it is to have both waiting for something that is already there for the taking.

Do you think loving someone needs serious considerations?

Seriously, you have no idea what I'm going through right now, and you have no idea what I'm writing about.

If you do, you lied, for I myself have no idea what I just wrote.

suicide

2009-02-21T00:08:00.001+08:00

it was a trap, and I fell for it.
I just killed myself, intentionally.

Damn.

love me, love you

2009-02-16T19:51:00.001+08:00

"It's good to share your love with someone who love you, rather than sharing it with someone who doesn't feel the same."

How true is true?

I'll consider

2009-02-16T03:41:00.003+08:00

How positive can you be, when you have a request on consideration?
You were told by people around you, everything will be just fine.
But,
Truth hurts.
and,
I hope it won't this time.

V-Day

2009-02-14T20:53:00.002+08:00

Valentine's Day, a day that mocks the true meaning of love.
Heavily commercialized, love has lost its true meaning.
With true love, everyday will be just as romantic and lovely.

Daze

2009-02-03T04:36:00.002+08:00

Ever told someone, "I think I like you", and then say that's all.
Sometimes you wish you could have told him or her more at that time.
But there's just no more courage to do so.
We're created with flesh and bones, and also a fragile soul when it comes to love.
We become vulnerable without even noticing it.
We all need a little help, wherever it may come from.
Sometimes, we're just helpless, when it comes to,
Love.

firestarter

2009-02-01T22:36:00.002+08:00

Have you ever started something you that you wanna end it yourself?
Ever regretted of starting it, that you wanna kill yourself?

Think twice, a fire started is an accident in waiting.

if one day

2009-02-01T03:31:00.002+08:00

If one day, you find me sitting quietly alone, will you sit by my side?

If one day, you find me no longer by your side, will you pray for a time machine?

all I ask of you

2009-01-31T01:32:00.001+08:00

All I ask of you, be a little more consistent.

little sparks

2009-01-28T03:37:00.002+08:00

How can I tell you that I have feelings for you?
I can't be certain that it's love.
Maybe it's just a crush, or just a little sparks.
But I'm sure there's something, deep inside.
How can I fall asleep tonight?

is this love?

2009-01-28T00:54:00.002+08:00

She's not mine, yet I feel like I'm hers.
Why do I feel it all the time?
Sometimes it feels good, or rather, great.
Most of the time, it just sucks.
Well, she's just another girl and I guess mood swing's a common thing.
What am I feeling deep inside of me?
Is this love?
or
Love?

headline of the day is

2009-01-27T01:49:00.003+08:00

You hate someone, you make a headline out of it.
You love someone, you make a headline out of it.
You lost something, you make a headline out of it.
You gained something, you make a headline out of it.

We're not born sinners, but we're born newscasters.

I'm only human

2009-01-25T00:47:00.002+08:00

I hate this time of the year. For the past two years, I was in love and loved in return. I was happy, spoil and really pampered. This time around, it's totally different. Thinking back, I supposed it's a good experience. Think again, I'm only human. I have emotions and I have a brain that stores images and voices of people around me, of people whom I loved, and loved me.

The beginning of the year is always the hardest for me. The whole atmosphere of what's going on around reminds me, of what we used to be. You might say I'm stubborn, but try putting yourself in my shoes. You'll know that you defined me wrongly. I ain't God, I'm only human.

I tried to talk to you about it, but there's no response to it. I tried to say hello, but you never even say goodbye. I know it's not an issue of who sacrificed more, but I think you over did it a little too much. I'm only human.

As for you, we talked about it. Every time when we're gonna conclude it, well, if you ever wanna have a conclusion or an end to it, you run away from it. I'm not you, and you're not me. How can action be replaced with simple words? Do you know how much it hurts? Once again, I'm only human.

You both lied too much, and I wonder if those are white lies. At least they're not white to me. I don't really think I deserve it, and should I be glad that you're both gone?

It's all really messy and fucked up.
I tried to be kind, but now I'm the one losing my mind.
I don't miss you, I just miss her.
Yes I miss you, not her.

President Obama

2009-01-22T00:07:00.001+08:00

President Obama's speech was great, and inspirational.
Let's all pray he's the 'right' man to succeed George W.Bush as our leader.

Amen.

love

2009-01-20T21:30:00.002+08:00

Why are you so different from the other girls?

1. You're independent while the others, needs me more than I need them.

2. You know what love is, while the others, never ever define it well.

3. You might not know how to make me smile, but you never fail to make me laugh.

4. You're being yourself all the time.

5. You're my best friend, while the others never understands.

6. You wanted it to be fair all the time, and it's not just about you.

7. You gave me time to miss you, and time away from each other.

You're you, and that's why you're different.

what is said and done?

2009-01-19T17:20:00.002+08:00

First of all, this is not your daily bread.
I hold no responsibility for anything that you might gain or lose as a result of the words in this blog.

I seriously do not think that being brave is necessarily a good thing in a relationship, you just got to be wise and sincere.
Remember this, what is said is said, and what is done is done.